![]() By Neil Allen During these last few days before Christmas, many families who are struggling financially are trying to figure out how they’re going to put presents under the tree. Many dread the coming of holidays that require gifts, both in the gifts they give and the ones they receive. I cannot remember the last time I wasn’t struggling through the holidays. This year is a repeat, though the reasons are different—my daughter and I are purposely living at close to poverty levels as part of our AmeriCorps VISTA service. I like to use gift giving year round as a time to give both useful gifts mixed with a few frivolous things. Last Christmas, I gave my boyfriend a new nursing scrub top and a winter jacket as well as candy and some other small gifts I thought he would have fun with. This year, my daughter got me a practical gift—a water purifier. I’m allergic to the town’s water and buying bottled water is getting expensive, especially given how much tea I drink these days, so it is the perfect gift. When you’re struggling to make ends meet, getting practical gifts mean so much more than a frivolous one. Especially when the gift makes normal everyday living easier. They may also be things that they’re less likely to ask for as they don’t seem to be appropriate for holiday gifts. Here are some suggestions:
What gift giving ideas do you have to help families who are struggling financially?
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![]() By John Monroe-Cassel During the holiday season, there will be the inevitable interplay of cheer and “oh dear” as families who have experienced difficult times, even deaths in the family, strive to cope and adjust to the challenges. When hard times hit at holiday time, families often are at a loss for how to get through the season. The following are some tried and true ways people have succeeded in making a time of deep sadness or grief during a cultural time of joy and glad tidings survivable and maybe even special:
Every family has the ability to adjust to even the most painful circumstances, and there is no substitute for working together toward the most effective and meaningful togetherness possible when this is needed most. This meaning-making puts the “holy” in holi-day! John Monroe-Cassel, MDiv., MAT, is Spiritual and Bereavement Care Counselor for Lake Sunapee Region VNA and Hospice and has worked with individuals and families for many years in several different states as counselor, pastor, chaplain, and bereavement coordinator. ![]() By Neil Allen “Wait…what? That’s absurd!” I would have said the same thing when my daughter was younger. When she was very young, it didn’t matter as much but as she got older it became a problem. She was getting many presents every holiday and on her birthday that she never opened. She just turned 22 years old and we recently rediscovered some never opened presents from her childhood. I started thinking about this when a friend shared a blog post from the KidsSafetyNetwork that talked about how the author was no longer going to give family members a list of toys to family members. The authors knew that the toys given to their children were either going to be rarely used, become the latest canvas for their art, get scattered everywhere, or join a pile of body parts from dismantled dolls and action figures. It sent me down memory lane as I thought about the presents from my childhood that I have carried around for 35+ years as I moved from place to place — a Heidi doll that my grandparents bought me when visiting Europe (it was a favorite book when I was a kid), a panda PJ bag, a vest my aunt crocheted for me, a piggy bank my uncle made in his pottery workshop, and a doll sleeping bag that I made when my mom taught me how to knit when I was like 9 years old. You’re unlikely to avoid your child begging for the latest toy craze or the really cool toy their best friend has, but you can minimize how many other toys make it into your house and encourage family members and friends to think outside the gift box. Here’s a list of some alternatives:
If you’re one of the people seeking to buy your grandchild or niece or nephew a holiday present, trust the parents to know what their child really wants or needs. It is really is one of the best way to make sure that the present is remembered next week much less years from now. And, you could be passing along family traditions or skills that could be used for the rest of their lives. What are some of the alternative presents you’ve gotten for children? We welcome you to share your suggestions in the comments section! |
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