By Neil Allen

During these last few days before Christmas, many families who are struggling financially are trying to figure out how they’re going to put presents under the tree. Many dread the coming of holidays that require gifts, both in the gifts they give and the ones they receive.

I cannot remember the last time I wasn’t struggling through the holidays. This year is a repeat, though the reasons are different—my daughter and I are purposely living at close to poverty levels as part of our AmeriCorps VISTA service.

I like to use gift giving year round as a time to give both useful gifts mixed with a few frivolous things. Last Christmas, I gave my boyfriend a new nursing scrub top and a winter jacket as well as candy and some other small gifts I thought he would have fun with. This year, my daughter got me a practical gift—a water purifier. I’m allergic to the town’s water and buying bottled water is getting expensive, especially given how much tea I drink these days, so it is the perfect gift.

When you’re struggling to make ends meet, getting practical gifts mean so much more than a frivolous one. Especially when the gift makes normal everyday living easier. They may also be things that they’re less likely to ask for as they don’t seem to be appropriate for holiday gifts.

Here are some suggestions:

• Clothing is great idea when there are children in the family. Children are always outgrowing clothes and it is nice to be able to have something new to wear, especially when they’re used to wearing hand-me-downs. A gift certificate to a store may be a good choice if you don’t know what they like. If you’re giving clothes to an adult, think about what would enhance their life. Is a mom going to be going back to work and needs interview clothes or more business-type clothes for a new job? Does dad work outside in the winter and need heavy flannel shirts?
• If you’re going to give toys, give ones that don’t come with an on-going expense, like batteries or a subscription service. Things like dolls, play cookware sets, board or card games, and building toys like Legos or K’nex, puzzles are great “low maintenance” toys.
• Small appliances that help make cooking from scratch easier make good gifts—not only are they often time savers, they can also allow the family to eat healthier for less money. Things like a rice cooker, which can also be used to steam vegetables, or a crockpot are good choices. I got an ice cream maker for Valentine’s Day from a former boyfriend several years ago and we love using it to make a special treat.
• Other good options include gas or the grocery store gift cards or gift certificates for heating fuel or the garage where they go to get work done on their car or regular maintenance, like an oil change. If you live in an area where there’s public transportation, you could give them a bus or train pass. Coupons for babysitting, handyman services, or other skill are excellent options.

​What gift giving ideas do you have to help families who are struggling financially?

By Neil Allen

When I was a nanny, I had a short-term position with a family in New Jersey with a darling seven month old girl. She was happy enough but she was being held back on her physical and mental development because of her mother’s fears of her getting hurt. She only had rattles and teething toys to play with. She hadn’t even been allowed to just lay on the floor so she could learn to roll over much less begin crawling.

By the end of my first week I went to Toys ‘R Us and made a list of age appropriate toys and added a few things for the next six months. There were probably 20 items on the list from small handheld toys to larger items like an Exersaucer, which allowed for freer movement for the baby and the safety the mom needed. The mom accepted that I knew what I was talking about, then went out and bought everything on the list. The baby’s life was so greatly enhanced and she started developing in leaps and bounds.

The need for age-appropriate toys is simple: to encourage development and provide your child with challenges that build on the skills they’re developing. The toys don’t have to be store bought, there are many you can make from items around the house or recyclables, and, depending on the age of the child, be made with the child. Children need as toys to help them learn to master skills they should be learning from babies to early elementary school. As kids get older, there is a lesser focus on toys and they tend to move to educational games on the computer.

Learning, however, can be done anywhere, at any time — with and without toys. Learning opportunities are everywhere. Vroom, an educational program, can help those with very young children expand the educational opportunities with just a small investment of time. Click here for more information.

Tips

• When it comes to birthdays and holiday present giving, encourage family and friends to buy toys that are for six to nine months down the road so that when the child gets to that point they have toys with new challenges without having to spend more money.
• Children also need variety as they grow tired of the same old toys after a few months, which can stagnate development. It is good to have some toys hidden away to swap into the mix of toys. Take three or four toys that they’re bored with and replace them with new ones that offer new development and challenges. This helps save money, too.
• As your child starts outgrowing the toys, weed them out of the toy box. This helps eliminate clutter and encourages them to play with more age-appropriate toys.

​Simple homemade educational toys
Lacing: Using thick paper, cut out a large shoe shape then punch four holes along each side to replicate the holes on a real shoe. Hand to your child with a lace so they can practice lacing. You can also cut out simple shapes like a bear or gingerbread person then punch holes around the edges for them to practice lacing. If you want them to last longer, you can laminate them.

Felt books: Cut out rectangles about 3″ x 5″ from felt then use iron-on fabric hem tape or sew on numbers, shapes or fabrics with different textures. Then use a hole punch to put a hole in the upper left corner then tie the pages together with yarn or put them on a metal ring.

Rock paths: Find a bunch of flat rocks about two inches long. Clean them then allow them to dry completely. Line them up in a unique shape and use non-toxic paint to create a path from one rock to the next and allow to dry completely. Then, mix the rocks up and have your child try to recreate the path.

​Memory game: This is a great way to recycle old business cards. You can draw pictures on the blank side or use stickers. You can also use matching holiday gift tags that are blank on the backside and all the same shape. You can laminate them to make them last longer.

By Neil Allen

“Wait…what? That’s absurd!”

​I would have said the same thing when my daughter was younger. When she was very young, it didn’t matter as much but as she got older it became a problem. She was getting many presents every holiday and on her birthday that she never opened. She just turned 22 years old and we recently rediscovered some never opened presents from her childhood.

I started thinking about this when a friend shared a blog post from the KidsSafetyNetwork that talked about how the author was no longer going to give family members a list of toys to family members. The authors knew that the toys given to their children were either going to be rarely used, become the latest canvas for their art, get scattered everywhere, or join a pile of body parts from dismantled dolls and action figures.

It sent me down memory lane as I thought about the presents from my childhood that I have carried around for 35+ years as I moved from place to place — a Heidi doll that my grandparents bought me when visiting Europe (it was a favorite book when I was a kid), a panda PJ bag, a vest my aunt crocheted for me, a piggy bank my uncle made in his pottery workshop, and a doll sleeping bag that I made when my mom taught me how to knit when I was like 9 years old.

You’re unlikely to avoid your child begging for the latest toy craze or the really cool toy their best friend has, but you can minimize how many other toys make it into your house and encourage family members and friends to think outside the gift box.

Here’s a list of some alternatives:

• Books. Children cannot have enough books in their lives. Offer recommendations on the types of books or authors your child likes to read. It may not be as shiny as a new dump truck but it is likely to be read over and over again.
• Tickets. Get tickets to go skiing, the movies, a play, the zoo, a children’s museum, or any other place the child likes to go to then go with them. The memories of you doing something with them will last a lifetime.
• Supplies. Does the child like to knit? Build rockets? Garden? Have a small pet? You can buy the supplies they need to do their hobbies and might not be able to afford otherwise. Who knows? You may end up with a new pair of socks or have their new fish named after you.
• Skills. Do you know how to knit or crochet? Can you play the guitar? Do you enjoy painting and drawing or going out into nature to take photos? Are you a tracker or bird watcher? Your gift could be to teach the child a skill you have, which can be combined with the supplies if the skill is connected to materials they wouldn’t have around the house like yarn or paints and brushes.
• Group present. If there is something the child wants that the parents cannot afford, like a musical instrument, dance classes, sports equipment, summer camp, a video camera, etc., the family can pool their resources and help pay for it. It will mean so much to the child to have the support from the family for the things they enjoy doing. And, if it is connected to something that you can be part of down the road, like going to their games or concert or viewing the movie they created, it will make the memory even more powerful.

If you’re one of the people seeking to buy your grandchild or niece or nephew a holiday present, trust the parents to know what their child really wants or needs. It is really is one of the best way to make sure that the present is remembered next week much less years from now. And, you could be passing along family traditions or skills that could be used for the rest of their lives.

What are some of the alternative presents you’ve gotten for children? We welcome you to share your suggestions in the comments section!